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12/6/12 19:30My heart aches for reasons I don't understand.
I just feel like I'm about to lose people... friends... and I'm afraid they'll move on without me.
Okay, ignore the first sentence. Scratch that.
I damn well know why my heart aches... because today I realized that I'm not completely over my social anxiety disorder.
The friends I've gained are now friends with people who have just been hired by the company I'm working for. They all seem to be so close lately and I found myself realizing that I'm not friends with even one of the newbies. Okay, I'd like to say I'm not worried or scared, but I am. I FRIGGING AM. I'm afraid of being left out... of losing friends I worked so hard to gain.
Maybe I'm just jealous and I think I really am because why the hell is it easy for them to be close to the people I had a hard time getting along with? How come it's so easy for them to be accepted while it took me more than a year? This makes me feel... just... really sad.
I just feel like I'm about to lose people... friends... and I'm afraid they'll move on without me.
Okay, ignore the first sentence. Scratch that.
I damn well know why my heart aches... because today I realized that I'm not completely over my social anxiety disorder.
The friends I've gained are now friends with people who have just been hired by the company I'm working for. They all seem to be so close lately and I found myself realizing that I'm not friends with even one of the newbies. Okay, I'd like to say I'm not worried or scared, but I am. I FRIGGING AM. I'm afraid of being left out... of losing friends I worked so hard to gain.
Maybe I'm just jealous and I think I really am because why the hell is it easy for them to be close to the people I had a hard time getting along with? How come it's so easy for them to be accepted while it took me more than a year? This makes me feel... just... really sad.
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